Montana

i just move here from arkansas and let me tell you it SUCKS it is truly hell for a southerner to get used to the weather here changes every 5 seconds it snowed in freaking june it can even snow in july the people here are cool but the weather sucks but when its is warm it is amazing

laying here in your arms makes me quiver
you show me love when i push you away
you say you love me even when i act hateful
i love you with all my heart its just i am so afraid of being loved
i am afraid of love everytime i let someone in my dark depressing world
and allow them to brighten it i lose them then my world gets darker than before i dont want to suffer anymore no one knows how much anger, hate and pain is in my heart everyday i get closer to the edge but it is you that keeps me going i am not going to lie to you i dont want to live very bad i could careless if i died it would take me out of this god forsaken world i dont even remember being happy before you
baby you mean so much to me i just dont know how to show it but with time i will

chaseing

I am falling I am trembling
I fall deeper and deeper My mind is filled random clatter
I am coughing up blood My lungs filled with crud
I try to digging in So thin
Every time I burn Another lesson I learn
I try to faith in God Not sparing the rod, but I can't stop chasing It is erasing
I lie in my tomb Waiting for my doom
my face is sagging As I am chasing the dragon

In the Tomorrow of Yesterday

Shadowed glass begins the Veiling of Sun perching on the Nothing between Today and Tomorrow memories revisited in the midst of Yesterdays while dreams bridge the gaps and I lose myself in the Betweens reminiscing on the Future looking forward to the Past forgetting entirely the Now that is only barely there awaking to Dream comatose in Reality finding control in Chaos and grounded in Lost Sun and Moon continue lingering upon the fringes of Yesterday and Tomorrow neither showing neither gone while Stars blink their eyes sleepily awaiting the awakening of Today

Guilt

Guilt is the slow mental death no one sees, A shimmering blade is the escape, Swimming in a blood red sea. A smile is the mask behind which it hides, Nor the physical or spiritual realm, By no rules will it abide. Torturing you with every new day gone by, You tell yourself it's a bad dream, Yet you know that is a lie. It haunts you in your dreams while you sleep, Shoving reality in your face, Driving that blade oh so deep. You'll shudder at its presence and try to run away, But no matter what you do, It's here to stay. Then some day, it might happen, you'll be forgiven for what you've done But as for me, I feel that is a day that will never come.

Night Sky

In the night sky hidden In the shadows is where I find tranquillity and Sense to all my chaos The storms cleanse my soul Releasing me from my burdens The lightning, moon, and stars Are mere accessories to an Already perfect darkness Everynight(never letting me down) Painting beautiful shades of Black, purple, and blue In the night sky hidden In the shadows is where I find tranquillity and Sense to all my chaos

My Life

Alone and desolate is how I'm found Each and every time my feet touch the ground. Illusions blackening my heart and soul. Alone once more, no longer whole. The deep darkness my life has become Would depress, scare, and even kill some. Welcome to Hell, my lonely domain. Remain here long enough and you will go insane. Wondering why life's been thrust upon me. The torture, the anguish, the endless agony. Deep in a place, a normal state of mind, Lies the one truth I've been seeking to find. Void is my heart of every feeling and thought Wanting to pull the final shot. My darkness, my domain, my Hell This is my life-can't you tell.

Demons of the Mind

abandoned to walk alone left to hellish demons that tear away your soul demons that come from within demons of the darkest night they main and rape the mind leaving it bruised and battered they feed on the pain on the deepest despairs inside where the cold burns where the soul used to be torn away for the demons' pleasure borne into eternal darkness.

What is Love?

What is love? How does one define 'love'? Is it somthing that can be felt like an emotion? Or is it somthing so much more potent, so powerful, that it cannot even be described? A feeling so powerful that it can quell a war or cease a striking hand, it is a constant catalyst for the salvation of men. Ironic as it may seem, it also sows the seeds in which we reap our own destruction. What we feel may be love is simply a false pretense, a stone set in our path to cause our downfall. Yet we stumble on blindly, careless and foolish in our desire to feel wanted.We crave so much to be held and treasured that we turn a blind eye to the demon that embraces us. As we spiral slowly down into the pit of darkness, we confide in what we presume to be love. Such foolish and careless errors are commonplace, and are the reasons for the stupidity of men. For love, hate, and all these things are missused for the purpose of humanity.

This is me
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Responsibility

Responsibility, redemption, for a man to truly be redeemed he has to own up to his responsibilities.
Evil has truly Succeeded when good men do nothing.

Of Mystery

In a forsaken realm
They remain in limbo
Searching for a way
To express their story

Where the air has a downcast chill
That speaks desolate secrets
Of long forgotten lore
Set in stone

And the wind howls
Through naked branches
While leaves waltz
Along the ground

When darkness falls
Gentle weeping
From the sky
Shares the only light

For the moon is stolen
By an impulsive cloud
While beams sway out
To grasp the light of the stars

In a silent serenade
Enchanted shadows linger
Among the landscape
Beckoning one to stay

For a sudden warmth
Carried by foresight
That will invade
Upon the once chill air

Leading to the eyes that burn
With the sins of mortals
Pleading for them to understand
That there is so much more...

Watch as a shadow rises

Watch within me
Deep within me
Watch as a shadow rises
Lurking in me
Watching with me
Watching is the shadow
Climb within me
Scream as you see
Deepest blackest shadow
Bleeding in me
Screaming, "Set me
Free, for I'm the shadow!"
Watch within me
Fear what you see
Watch as rise a shadow.

Empty Vessel

Emptiness
Sitting alone in the dark of night
One bright and sunny day
I stared down a piece of paper
Not knowing what to say
I meant to pour my heart out
Let it bleed throughout my pen
But then the words they stifled
No thoughts came from within
It was then that I realized
My heart was empty black
No words to say nor tears to cry
Nothing left to attack
What can I write about nothing
Except it's pure and vast
Like an empty plain of rolling hills
Lies my heart until the last
I only know this emptiness
It's like groping in the dark
I only see this pain I feel
Along with it's ancient mark
It's only now I see myself
I see myself for what I am
Just an empty hollow creature
Frightened as a lamb
So I'll curl up with my word
And cry upon my ink
For every time I write now
I can feel my heart sink

What is death

What is death we always ask? Is it something
to be feared or is it something to be embraced
when we are finished with this human race.
Is death nothing more than the passing of time
or the passing of one body to another.
Why is it that death is on our mind more than
anything else. Why do we fear it?
Is it because it is the fear of the unknown,
that we do not understand that makes us fear
death?
Or is it that we cling to this life so hard
that we don't want to let go? We say life is
short but death is forever. Is that true?
No one has ever come back from the dead to
tell us. Are we reborn again after we die?
Some say yes and some nay and lets just
leave it that way.
But death is not to be feared for I have
touched and seen and been held in its
embrace, and I am still here in this human
race.
Death is a sweet slip of time that we keep,
for in it we can find peace.
No more worry, and no more pain. Just the slip
from this life into the next.
Death really is a friend who has a sad job of
taken us from loved ones and friends and the life
we must leave behind. Death is going where others
have already gone.
Death is knowing that when you leave this life
you will not be alone, for others await you. Death
is not to be feared, but met with pride for it is
a journey to the other side.